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Tuesday, April 17th, 2012
3:09 am - Remembering the Forgotten

After a year of what seemed to be endless checking of papers, essays to grade, lessons to discuss, I find myself utterly and completely bored...to the piont that I cannot sleep. Or perhaps, Mr Sandman decided not to pass by completely as I did ignore him all year round.

 

I had completely forgotten about this. My once in a while journal of thoughts or at least an attempt to be creative in writing.

 

With today's technology, I am thankful that I no longer have to get up from bed and turn on my ancient desk top pc to write. I am yes an android fan, to my surprise as I have never been much of a techie.

 

I begin to wonder, can I still write? After two years of teaching, do I still have it in me? This is a question I hope to answer as I go along.

 

I sometimes find it amusing that I ended up teaching. I began as a writer ended up a teacher. Funny, I had even taught journalism this AY.

 

As I try to force my over-exhausted brain to write something witty or informative, I realise, I have no idea where to begin with.

 

Students, lessons and co- teachers come into mind...

 

I seem to have a knack for making lists (this year it had been mostly to -do lists thatcare still plastered on my wall..) so I might as well do another list - a list of random things that come to mind. So here goes:

 

1. Googling yourself doesn't necessarily mean you are full of yourself. It could mean: you ARE bored.

 

2. After googling (is there such a word as "googling")  yourself, expect the unexpected.

 

3. Students pretend not to listen. Key word: pretend..They are still listening. Hold on to it and reel in more attention while you can.

 

4. As a teacher, don't bank on "yes, we understand" replies to the question, "Do you understand the lesson?" Read their non-verbal comm signals! Thank goodness I have a background in this.

 

5. Trust your gut instinct but hold on to reality.

 

6. A teacher is a teacher...and not God.

 

7. Don't underestimate students for their youth. They are quite observant and as adults we can learn a thing of two.

 

8. Reminder to self: Change is the only constant.

 

9. If others can learn from me, I can learn from them. But be careful. Not everything should be learned.

 

10. A stubborn mule is a stubborn mule.

 

11. Coca-cola is not an energy drink. If used as one on a daily basis, don't dare complain but pants popping.

 

12. Students hunger for knowledge...but they also hunger for love and attention. And lets face it, not all teachers are willing to give the kind of love and attention the kids want.

 

13. If you want to be respected... be respectable. No amount of saying "respect me! respect me!" will make a student respect you. Be the example.

 

14. On weekends, silence your mobile. Parents will call and they have forgotten you want to sleep in.

 

15. Instead of arguing with a closed-minded person, just pretend your listening to his points. Less hassle, less toxicty.

 

16. Always practice what you preach. Even off campus.

 

17. Teach to inform, to educate, to enlighten and to positively influence. Don't just "teach."

 

18. Cool useless facts somewhat related to the lesson are great icebreakers.

 

19. I cannot please everyone. Kids included. The minute you accept that fact, they somehow magically will.

 

20. Affection. If you give it, you also want it. But if you don't get it, be glad you gave it.

 

21. Always eat a full breakfast. Even if it makes you late. You can't teach properly when the stomach is competing with noise your class makes.

 

22. Relax.

 

23. Bring your own first-aid kit.

 

24. Treat everyone with proper respect. 1Peter 2:17

 

25. Cold water murders your voice.

 

26. History isn't boring. How its taught is.

 

27. Even if you already know the surprise, act surprised.

 

28. Splurge on a massage once in a while.

 

29. Admit you are wrong when you are wrong.

 

30. It doesnt hurt to smile.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

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Thursday, October 20th, 2011
1:28 am - But Teacher... The Joys of Teaching
Our lesson for CLE/Values was about chores and why everyone in the family has to do their fair share without complaining.


As expected, I got a lot of complaints, "But Teacher...!" and "Why, me?" So I told them, point blank that their mommies and daddies have a lot on their minds - I enumerated most of things parents think about (bills... whats for lunch, dinner, etc, ect...). And that they think about these things, especially them, ALL THE TIME.

I told them, try even thinking about being in their shoes, its not easy. From the minute they were born, Mommy and Daddy no longer think just about themselves but about the kids as well... everyday, 24/7, maybe, even in their dreams.

It got them thinking and I asked them if they understood and why they had to follow without complaints and sans tantrums. Many nodded and promised to follow and do their part at home.

Okay na... until one raised his hand, waving it in the air, wanting to ask a question.

Student: Teacher, isn't it, you said in school, the teacher is our second parent?
Teacher Gemma: Yes dear, that's correct.
Student: Teacher, you are our adviser, right?
Teacher Gemma: (Puzzled look on my face) Yes dear.
Student: Then, in school, you are our mommy?
Teacher Gemma: Yes dear.

Student pauses for a moment, then his hand shoots up in the air again, like a speeding bullet.

Student: Teacher, why aren't you married yet?
Teacher Gemma: (grrrr in my head, but a smile on my face) Because I haven't found him or he hasn't found me yet.(hoping it would suffice)

A Long pause of silence.( YES!)

Then suddenly, half of the class, their hands shoot up in the air.

Ohkay....

They all start telling me to look for their single uncles on facebook, their neighbors, cousins, etc, etc... who they think are fit to be "my husband."

I settle them down....

A couple come up, give me a hug and a kiss. Some fall in line to do the same.
Ohkay...

.....And then here it comes:

Students: But Teacher, go find a husband na! So you won't have to think about us all the time! So he will do half the thinking na!

WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Thank goodness the bell rang... I had my chance to escape in laughter!

current mood: cheerful

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Sunday, March 27th, 2011
3:58 am - A Different Kind of Motherhood
Ever since I was small, all I ever really wanted to be, was someday, I would like to be a mom, just like my own mommy.

I got what I wanted, but not in the usual ways - I did not give birth nor did I adopt, and yet for a few hours a day, 5 days a week, for 10 months in a year, I am mom.

One day, I literally was risen from slumber by my sister telling me they needed a sub teacher a-sap. With a simple, "Uh=ohkay" without letting it sink in, I accepted to sub for a day. Little did I know, I end up teaching the classes for the rest of the year and eventually being asked to carry on with the job. This year, I just had my first advisory class composed of 14 lovely and bright fourth graders and taught high school history. Next year, am being requested to go full-time.

It was only a few minutes ago when I realized, I got what I always wanted - to be mom. Well, sort of. A grateful parent thanked my sister and I for not only teaching the students, but for loving them just as they were my own. When I look back at the year that had just passed, in many ways she is right. We shared joys and tears, I've lost count on how my times I stopped fights, cleaned wounds, picked up after them... some things a mother would do. I am more than grateful to these parents for having the faith in me and for allowing me to love these kids, just as if they were mine, even for a few hours in a day.

I am blessed. I only wanted one. But God gave me more than I asked for. :-)

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Saturday, April 24th, 2010
7:51 pm - Why as a student I loved essay questions...
I've always wondered why some people find answering essay questions hard.
What is so hard about answering an essay question?
I guess, perhaps one reason why some people are afraid of answering essay questions is because their lack of grammar know-how. When one writes in essay form it now comes in black-and-white, making it more apparent of their weakness, making it, well, a little embarrassing for them. Who wants to see their work, staring back in their face, visible as ever on how poor their grammar knowledge is after years of studying basically the same thing over and over again?
To those who think like that, I think its living in denial. They don't want to see that the problem actually exists: They CANNOT express themselves in paper. They would rather live in their own dreamland, their own make-believe world, pretending they know the answer but in fact, they just can't simply write it down on paper.

Well, come to think of it, in a test, it is a lot easier to just write A, B, or C on the blank before the number.

But if you think more clearly, when you answer an essay question, your skills as a person are put to the test, and I mean the real test.

Personally, I hate multiple choice questions. I dread them. They make me feel like a lab rat or some poor monkey ready for testing. The answers are already thrown in front of your face and like a test-lab monkey, and all you have to do is to choose or worse, if you haven't studied, guess which among the three given choices is the is the right answer. On the other hand, I love essay type questions! Why? Because I feel that I am being treated like a human being who is capable of answering logically, who can put her knowledge and defend her answer in writing. See the difference between just picking the lucky letter and beautifully writing your answer in your own words?

Essay questions are easy, if you just look at them with an open mind. You are given not only the chance to express what you know, but also it is a perfect chance for you to practice your writing skills, your grammar, and proper punctuation. Essay questions are also great when you can't express yourself orally. Believe me, if you put your thinking cap on its better than class recitation, where you barely get second chances. In essays, you can easily cross out or erase you answer and rewrite while still being able to express yourself.

Don't be afraid of failure as failure is meant to take away the inessential. In black and white, or rather, with red ink, you actually get to see what you did wrong when your paper is returned to you. You can improve on it the next time another essay type question is thrown your way. Its easier to remember something when you are able to look at it over and over again.

I maybe unconventional, but heck, essay questions improved my writing skills. I do not write like a jejemon either. What can you say about yours? So, the next time you look at an essay question, before you start to complain, be thankful. Your teacher is giving you the chance to express yourself, logically.

A famous Filipino doctor, who happens to be an excellent writer and the Philippine's National Hero once said: The pen is mightier than the sword. I certainly have to agree.

current mood: determined

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Saturday, October 27th, 2007
1:12 am - SAY WHAT?!
SAY WHAT?

Comments ng mga mag-aaral sa university-distributed survey form:
(--actual and not edited; I’ve been encoding them myself!)

Regarding the library…
• When I go to the library the book that I find is I cannot found.
• I says good because they properly organized the students that search in the library
• We cant use it that such for whenever we go there the place was crowded and cant get used. Since it was a library & student need service why the librarian do not allow books to be borrowed atleast overnight. I think it can be useful to a student to borrow books in a library
• The library needs more space because most of the time students have no place to study their lesson inside the library
• The library needs improvement for spontaneous and for the students the library is very small how many students is here that have to use the library
• Space too narrow it cannot accommodate more student who wants to use the library and the books are not


Regarding the registrar’s office…
• Need much peeply to accompany to prevent the long line and waiting when the enrollment come
• They should fix all the things in enrollment before one week of the sad activity in school
• The registrar almost wanted the student to die in lines
• If the students can be released at the day the students request for it busy the it will be released for the next week?
• For new students like me, no assistance has been given which made things difficult. Also no orientation for new students have been given that’s why the rules and regulations of the university is a big question mark for me
• Registrars office is need improvement to follow us all the student is their char infro specially to all transparency
• B’coz time comes from the permits the registrar are so slow in process and so on
• During enrollment the registrars has slow services that why we in are all irritated of the line

Regarding the Accounting Office…
• Because sometimes they had a mistake that in reg card he/she is paying exact amount, but the accounting computer register
• Unaccommodating personnel I always busy
• The accounting office should do their part, because they are always late

Regarding the Deans Office…
• Because Dean have a good direction to us
• Its okay and very nice because the deans office is organize and well attended especially the dean of arts and sciences.

Regarding the canteen…
• Its very nice that the garbage is the tables are always clean up before someone will dine to the tables and for me their foods are clean.
• Some of the foods sell are to expensive for a student to afford unlike outside
• The canteen was very small to occupy this many the student
• Not clean stray cats inside, expensive products


Regarding the Guidance and Student Discipline Offices…
• Because always the student discipline
• Give the student more consideration unless they don’t have any good reason.
• Unfair because when they get IDs to students its only limited and of all have confiscated ID for their violation
• They are giving and advice into pasaway student


Regarding the Security…
• Security is very strict to come in some students not wear id.
• The are so many guards that need some especial attention, especially in the front of the school
• It safety secure all the facilities and they secure all the students
• The security must not taking the children as a not part of the school
• Need to improved the security for the student like safety for students who get a civilian shirt
• The guards are sometimes not doing their jobs if they want to bully you they are doing that thing but sometimes the strict policy are implementing is good
• Guards are not always checking students bags, if not ID they still allow students to enter the campus, they also allow studnet is who wear slippers

Regarding Classrooms/Laboratories/CRs
• Our room is not the floor is not well developed
• Because they are all hot and sometimes the electric fan have defect
• I have not entered in computer
• Broken tiles should be replaced immediately, white board. I think will be better for students health that the boards used presently
• Addition of up-to-date laboratory equipment should be done
• More chemicals are urgent are being added for same purpose.
• Good facilities are well used in the classroom are well condusive for learning
• CR needs water and all sinks need faucets that is working properly
• CR are not sufficient for us, it is sometimes dirty not well maintained maybe us are so many who are using it and personel to do that thing
Regarding the Bookstore…
• Need more people to accompany to make the distribution of the book faster
• Because were a room when the tiles broke.
• They must know how many students who is needing the book because students they pay books but they cant easily get it
• Good quality of book in our course we used books, but in the bookstore it is not available.
•

current mood: silly

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Saturday, October 6th, 2007
1:05 am
Probably, like the most of you, I was surprised when I heard the news about the line or the part of the dialogue by “Susan Mayer” portrayed by Teri Hatcher on ABC’s hit-rating show, “Desperate Housewives.”

As I quote:

“Can I just check those diplomas because I just want to make sure that they are not from some med school in the Philippines?"

Being half Filipino (and proud of my lineage and ancestry), I was initially disgusted by dialogue. It’s like saying our medical practitioners aren’t good enough as she had to check that she wasn’t getting a Filipino doctor. Well, that’s how it sounded to me at first. I wonder if the writer/writers of the episode are aware of the fact that thousands of Filipinos leave the country, leaving their loved ones behind in the hopes of greener pastures and with the aim to provide their families a better life, aside from “just” hoping to make it big in the US.

Yes, I am a fan of the show. And yes, I have diligently watched all episodes about two times over for every season. But don’t get me wrong, but, have you decided to take it on a positive note?

Surely, one may take it as criticism and a direct hit to our race, as well as it being a major insult, but if you think about it, its sort-of acknowledging our presence, rather the presence of our home-grown medical workers in America? No matter how insulting it is, we are being recognized. As the showbiz folk here would say, bad publicity is still publicity.

Personally, if I was a health worker, I wouldn’t take the remark that negatively. I’d take it as a challenge - a challenge, as one, to prove them wrong, and two, to point out to them that their whole medical system would collapse if not for the likes of us Filipinos who have left our homeland to serve “these racist” Americans. They’d probably be rotting on street and dropping like dead flies out of nowhere if not for us. Hello! Why are they “importing” our work force in the first place? Why, are they not capable of producing their own “quality” medical teams that they have resulted to “labour importation?” But that’s beside the issue.

I remain not to be insulted, although angered by the line, but not insulted. It really doesn’t matter what your race or your job is. When we are hired to do a job, we should do it whole-heartedly, be there totally. Quality and efficiency calls no one particular race or gender. It should be demanded and expected from each and everyone.

We must always remember that what others negatively say about us doesn’t really matter, as it says more about them unconsciously. In addition to this, if people talk negatively about you, live in such a way that no one will believe them! So take the comment as a challenge to prove them wrong, that although, majority of our medical work force may have not come from top American or European medical schools, we are just as capable, if not better than their home-grown talent!

Perhaps, hypothetically speaking, or in a long shot, a big maybe, the writer/writers and Teri Hatcher may have had a not-so pleasant experience with a Filipino doctor, hence the infamous line and this is their way of getting back, yes, it is still wrong and the end does not justify the means, but I’d still stick by what I have said earlier: Take this as a challenge to prove them wrong. Show them what the Filipino is truly capable of and known for: we as people being diligent, industrious, hard-working, caring and all those other positive Filipino values we are known for, and not just showing them anger and hate we feel when a rotten tomato is thrown at our way. Only then, can we really prove them wrong and all the nasty, derogatory remarks will end. Take the line as a challenge to prove them wrong and improve our work and personal ethics as well as our craft. Who knows, maybe one day Teri Hatcher gets cancer and it’s a Filipino who discovers the cure for cancer, then she’ll be surely eating her words!

On an end note, my other Mother, our beloved director once told me: It’s not always about what they can offer you, but what you can offer them.

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Monday, September 24th, 2007
1:55 am - Taray Streak
I've been in a horrible mood recently, most likely, period related or period aggravated. To those who know me, this is a horrible, horrible time to be around me. Anyways, the taray streak came in handy today.

We bought our mother a new cellphone yesterday (she lost hers recently) and unfortunately, she was having problem after problem with it. First, the darn thing couldn't seem to get a signal at home (Globe) and all of us here have the same service provider (we all had a full signal on our phones). So, we had the unit replaced. The minute we got home, we charged the "new" unit. When we tried to turn it on, it wouldn't turn on. Hence, another trip back to the store. The clerk said, the battery needed replacing... Soooo... we go back home again, and charge the phone with its "new" battery. Same thing happens, it won't turn on again.

Unfortunately, we can't make another trip to the mall as by the time we discover the phone's "new" problem, the mall is already closed.

By now, tired from making several trips back and forth, I go back with my ate (who has her period, hahahaha) the next day and demand for a refund. The clerk refuses.

Ayyy.. Di pupuwede ito.

Umusok na tenga ko and enter the dragon na...

So, I tell the girl to call for her superior, who comes and asks what the problem is.

I explain politely yet obviously pissed and desperately trying to control my temper...

He refuses to return our money. Kesya store policy daw.

WTF!!!!

At my usual 180kph talking speed with my matching British accent (it always comes out when I'm pissed...) I go:

"Ako ba ay ginago mo? Sinong ginago mo? Ako? Eh loko ka pala eh! I know the policies of the DTI! Do you want me to file a complaint against your store? You've committed so many violations already and you're attempting to add another one? First, you are selling defective items! Second, you are implementing the no refund policy, it hasn't even been seven days! Third, you did not issue me an OR (official receipt), I can even report you to the BIR for this! and Fourth, you are violating the price tag law, ni walang price tag mga paninda mo? Ngayon pa lang puwede ko nang ipasara tindahan ninyo!!!"

The guy looks at me and my sister like I'm a crazed chimpanzee... and STILL refuses to return my money, he in fact had the nerve to charge us for the battery "replacement." So I go... out of pikon na rin siguro, with matching flaring nostrils:

"Sira ka pala eh, magpapaliwanag ka pa, taga DTI ako!"

And repeat the whole spiel!!!!

Wahahahaha!!!

Anyways, there WAS truth to the last bit. I used to be connected with the Bantay Bilhin Youth Group who monitored prices and other customer relations ek-ek... but, LOL this was more than 10 years ago! It was a organization I was part of in High school....hahahahaha.... still the quick thinking worked... though, a lie. (God, please forgive me for my sin)

The morals of the story: Huwag mag paloko sa mga nangloloko, it pays to know your rights and Ladies, it works to our advantage to get what we want when we have our periods, let the tarayness reign! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

current mood: accomplished

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Sunday, September 9th, 2007
4:13 am - Simon and the Crazy Witch from the East.
The thing is I finally ... hmmm lets make it easier, I'll tell you the story of this someone we will call Simon (as it rhymes with someone) and the crazy witch from the east.

Simon liked the Crazy witch from the East for the longest time and although he told the crazy witch also a hundred times, the Crazy witch was always going after the evil mongrels that lurks the metropolis.

She went out with a monkey in training to be professional liar, a balding maggot, and before those two the Guru.

Guru came first. The Crazy witch from the East was hooked up with the Guru for the longest time ever, who decided he just had enough and left the Crazy Witch after deciding as well that he wanted his Buko Pie instead.

The crazy witch from the East was devasted with the horribly timing of the Guru's departure spent days wallowing in her own self pity, wondering if her smashed heart would ever come back to her. The Crazy Witch from the East was became so angry at Guru for leaving her during her O.W.L.s spent most of her time with Simon, who turned out to be her closest friend.

The Crazy Witch from the East became terrified of Simon but didnt want to loose her as her friend so she kept he distance but would come back everynow and then.

Then came along the charming monkey training to be a professional liar, who pretended to be a Guru too charmed the Crazy Witch from the East. Bedazzled as she was, she helped the Monkey training to be professional liar in his time of need, gathering all her little monkey friends, the bunny rabbit and her amigoes and making potions for him in his "hour of need" only to realize after he had gotten what he had wanted, he'd leave her smashed heart in the size of sugary bits.

Simon comes back to the rescue, cheers up and helps her on her way, when she finally decides to mend the sugary bits and pieces of her smashed broken heart.

Then suddenly, a balding maggot comes along, offers the crazy witch from the East a bitter-sweet potion over a passing game and she falls for his spell. When she wakes up, she realized, her sugary bits and pieces of her heart is missing and she decides to confine herself in her humble abode in the East. The crazy witch only comes out to restock her supplies while she mixes her potion in hopes of finding lost heart as the whirlpool washes away.

The Crazy Witch from the East finally realizes where her heart is, decides to run after if, but doesnt know how to ask Simon who is holding it. When she finally has the courage... Simon drops it and tells her while he is intoxicated over a truth serum that he had let go of it as he had gotten tired of trying to understand the Crazy witch from the East. He tells her things which the truth serum made him say. And all she can say is, go to Jolibee and be Happy.

Sadly, the Crazy Witch from the East never gets to tell Simon the truth as
she tries to slowly pick up her heart that had been crushed in talcum powder bits that is beginning to fly away in the wind.

Simon will never know that all this time he had the Crazy Witch from the East's heart and that she wanted him to hold on to it forever.

current mood: rejected

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Thursday, August 9th, 2007
1:56 am - Somethng My Dad wrote 10 days after I was Born (its Hilarious!)
The night before and the day Gemma Louise was Born
-Arthur William Heaton

Being in the house alone I thought for a beer I would go
Being in the house and my spirits very low
Just ‘one or two” I thought – but it very soon was more!
A good night out was seen to be had
Even ‘turn’ wasn’t so bad,
So at the end of the night to home I did go
Even if I was a trifle slow
Right into slumber land I very soon did fall
For what seemed like two minutes I had a ball
Back to reality I was quickly zoomed
With my ‘breaking head’ I thought death loomed
7:30 in the morning my wife was on the phone
7:30 in the morning and me with a head like stone
Get washed and come to the hospital the baby’s on its way
Get washed and don’t you dally, you really can’t delay
More by luck than good judgment to the bathroom my way I found
‘Coz my imagination and direction were something less sound
Then for a taxi I had to ring around
Ever tried on a Sunday? Swell to they don’t abound
For the car to arrive I then had to wait
The minutes seemed an age I was in a state
Still I finally made it and managed to get there
The rushing and the tension was almost too much to bear
All that could be done now was wait and see
Just whether the new baby a little boy or girl would be
Very soon a beautiful baby girl was born just for the world to see
I could not be happier now and no matter how I try
The love I feel for all really made me want to cry
All that remains now is a son to try for by and by
For you see there are three women around our house
With odds like that any mums a morse.

--Arthur William Heaton, 27th February, 1980

current mood: amused

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Saturday, April 14th, 2007
1:07 am - Ice Breaker Part 2
So here I go again. Dealing with boredom, like the rest of us. Well, at least I'm not crazy enough to go shoot myself and see how it feels like -- am staring in front of the PC wondering, what the hell am I going to do now (aside from sulking on how pathetic my graduation picture looked like and on how expensive it cost, but anyway, that's a totally different picture all together) and then I chance upon, rather, it was just right in front of me, again, like it wants to pick my brain out, the box of Ice Breaker question cards.

And so it begins... (try to make sense out of whatever you can!)

Describe yourself as a student?
-- Evil in disguise. Often mistaken as a saint, but I did have a few tricks up my sleeve and always managed to get away with it.

Is being single an advantage to you?
-- Yes. Life is simple.

Happiness is ______
-- helping others help others.

Intelligence is_____
-- knowing how to use it wisely and efficiently.

What is your philosophy in life?
-- None really, life is meant to be discovered bit by bit, dealth with on a daily basis. and learned from. It's more of, learning how taste and enjoy all of its flavors - the salty, bitter, sweet and sour offerings it brings. Most philosphers I know wasted so much time on philosphy, they screwed up half the time, had headaches constantly, worried too much, got palatic over beer sessions trying to figure out the 5 Ws and the H, or worse, lost out on the best of life. So I say, live life as is! Spending too much time thinking about it, will just send you too the lunny bin.

If a person is faithful to you, what do you promise to do for hm or her?
-- One is never completely faithful, to a certain extent yes, but never completely. And as the saying goes, promises are meant to be broken.

Do you consider yourself conservative or modern?
-- A sweet, tangy mix of both. Retaining (and choosing to) certain values makes me conservative, but adapting to change makes me modern.

Perseverance is ______________
-- knowing the right When, Where, Why, Who, What and How. Its seems like it doesn't make sense initially, but if you think about it hard, it will make sense.

How do you extend courtesy?
-- It's not a matter of how, but to who and why.

What is faithfulness in your point of view?
-- It only exists through the promises of Jesus Christ.

When do you become sentimental?
-- Whenever I receive an out-of-the-blue sincere thank you.

How do you understand wise-spending?
-- Anything spent for spiritual and physical growth, nourishment and development (such as: food) is considered wise in my book.

What is your favorite time of the day?
-- Just before I pop off to sleep, my defenses are extremely low, my mind shuts out reality and works over drive on certain thoughts, weirdly, it becomes shittly philosophical (yes, yes, I contradict myself, so kill me) and begins to analyze things, see things differently, crazy yet sensical ideas come in. Its a certain high but at a low. Complicated to explain, but try to get the picture. Was really never good at explaining myself.

current mood: amused

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12:12 am - Answering Ice Breaker Questions
Boredom strikes and you can’t sleep; no one is one YM and for the love of God, playing PC games has temporarily become a bore. You see the card game Ice Breaker, and randomly pick out questions and crazily answer some of them:



How do you see it when a person becomes generous to you?

The person asks me, “So really, how are you doing today?”



How would you react if a friend provoked you to anger?

If the person is really a friend, I’d simply walk away and talk to him when I have a cooler head.



Do you view love as an emotional feeling or a duty?

Hard to say, because half the time I have been lied to or was never really given at half the respect and love I gave away. Hard to say, really



Are you romantic?

I have no idea. Sweet yes, romantic, hmmm… dunno.



Do you consider difficulties a blessing in disguise?

No. They happen for a reason and we create, dictate and fix our own realities based on how well we were brought up, what values we have acquired, what morals we have accepted.



What do you think are your strengths and weaknesses?

There, ironically, there is only one. I have too much of a big, loving, forgiving and unselfish heart. Those who truly know me would agree.

current mood: full

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Sunday, February 18th, 2007
2:27 am - Bursting into Laughter
You know how it is, when, you are on the train, all alone and something and you just suddenly realize that people are staring because you’re laughing out loud and you don’t realize that you are? I get that a lot.

I get a lot those. Flashbacks or when something just suddenly hits me, on how stupid or funny I was, or on how I just got. I just burst out in laughter, completely forgetting where I am or what I’m up to, its like, I’m just all alone watching the movie of my life being played, only it’s in my head and only I can see it.

Like for now, I suddenly remembered what I loser I was, one the first day, in my first year of high school, we were all required to go in front of class to introduce ourselves to everybody, but, my shoes decided to retire. They opened up wide like that plant in the movie The Little Shop of Horrors and if I would move, they would completely fall apart. Mind you, to make matters worse, the socks I were wearing at the time, had holes in them. I just couldn’t bring myself to go in front of everyone else to make myself the butt of all their jokes, not on the very first day of high school! Thankfully, as talkative as I was, I managed to make a couple of new friends aside from the ones I already knew from grade school. I begged from them to lend me their pair of shoes to I could just do the thing the teacher asked – get it done and over with. Anyway, someone was kind enough to help me out with that, but after that, the dilemma was, how the heck am I going to go home? My shoe had completely fallen apart, we didn’t have a phone, my parents were in Laguna and my sister was already on her way to school (I had the morning shift; she had afternoon classes).

I remembered waiting for the pm classes to start while I waited it out underneath the steps, when the coast was clear; I made a mad dash home, in my socks! (Thankfully, we lived near by). I burst into laughter when I got home, (all alone, mind you) and fell asleep laughing.
***
Another funny moment is on how stubborn I was, we all go through this awkward staged of development – when we are no longer kids, but not yet teenagers. The lucky ones just skip the whole phase… but me, oh boy, I was lanky, geeky, and skinny, -and it was that bad, I was nicknamed in class as “Peking duck.” Oh yeah, and did I not mention that I had “hand-me-downs” as clothes??? It didn’t help that my sister jumped the whole awkward stage, developed breasts, while I had to suffer and wear baggy clothing. The only stuff I had that was really mine aside from underwear was my school uniform.

And then there came a time when we had to report to classes on Saturdays. And it was O-K not to wear your uniform. So, thinking my friends were my friends, I show up, wearing my baggy clothing. Oh boy, will I never hear the end of this one from my friends. I decided to come to school wearing the ruffled bright purple silk blouse (ruffled is an understatement—it was puffy in every place imaginable) and had a huge bow smack right in the middle of it. It would have been a good thing if I paired it off with a black skirt, pumps and glasses and completed the whole Miss Minchin look… but boy, oh boy was I walking fashion disaster! I showed up in lavender bootleg jeans and to make matters worse, newly washed white sneakers!

Tell me about it. I never did get to hear the end of that one. Whenever I introduce a friend or would-be boyfriend to my high school buds, this is the first thing they always bring up.

***
Way back in grade school, I was pretty much your average kid. Got passable grades, enjoyed the same stuff almost everyone else did, watched wrestling, Super Book, Flying House, Uncle Bobs Lucky 7 Club, and enjoyed playing street games, such as patintero, and hide and seek. But if there was anything I think I was good at, it was talking. I think at one point I was branded as the master storyteller, coming up with all of these crazy make-believe stories, even I didn’t know how I came up with them. (I sometimes wonder what happened to that kid. Grew up I guess). I may be great in making up stories, but am sure pathetic when it comes to advice.
Grade two. One kid was about to shit in his pants. Being Pinoy, he grew up having is bum washed after he would take a dump. Me, being Brit, tissue paper was the way to go (well, I finally got smarter, tissue paper and washing up after wiping now works for me!). Anyway, this kid, I don’t remember his name anymore, but he was holding back the tears. He needed to go. And he needed to go badly. He came up to me, thinking I was trustworthy and sensible enough to give smart advice and asks me what to do. He tells me the bathroom has no water for washing up with and the drum of water (used from flushing) is almost empty and he can’t reach it. The janitress is no where to be found and our teacher, well it just to plain embarrassing. You’ll never hear the end of it if word gets out. Hmmm… we do have a problem, don’t we? He tells me he doesn’t want to take a crap and just leave it there otherwise if someone walks in or spots his shoes, they’ll know it’s him.

So, what does this smarty pants tell this poor kid? Sheesh, I gave him two options. One he can take a crap on newspaper, fold it up and toss it over the wall (its just a huge vacant lot at the time) and forget about it. Or just line the toilet with tissue paper, take a crap and use new, unrolled tissue paper to wipe his bum clean, and run out of the bathroom as fast as he can without anyone seeing him and just wash up ASAP when he gets home. I’d say the latter was pretty practical advice, don’t you think so?

I don’t know if something got lost in translation and all, I don’t think it was the accent, but somehow, something went completely wrong. Ten minutes later he comes up to me, saying he soiled his pants! I’m like, how the hell could he do that unless he took a crap in his pants. Oh great he did. What he thought I said was: “Line the newspaper on your pants, take a crap, and clean up with tissue, then toss newspaper over the wall.” Oh great. Bright boy indeed. He thought I meant to turn the newspaper into a diaper! Whoohoo! Bright boy indeed.

***
College the second time around, I was assigned to direct a play. Something I haven’t done in years. Everything is set, the lights, the music, and the actors. But one minor thing is forgotten. The lead actors are in the middle of a sensual discussion, on a dinner table for two, the huff and puff and will blow the house down. Someone had forgotten to place an ashtray on the set.

***

current mood: refreshed

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Friday, August 11th, 2006
11:56 am - Grasping What is Truly Uniquely Japanese
Although I missed a major part of the film presentation and was only able to catch the sharing of the College of Arts and Sciences (CAS) Part-time Faculty Member, Mr. Francis Ron De Guzman, I made it a point to research and read more about Japan, its culture, its language, and its heritage. My on-the-job (OJT) training unfortunately, had caused me to miss perhaps what I had been looking forward to the whole trimester.

FLAN02 or Foreign Elective 02 concentrates mainly on learning a foreign language and its culture, in this case, Nihongo. Learning a new language is extremely difficult if one does not at least have a grasp of the culture. I have first hand experience in the complexity and struggle it was to pick up Tagalog, which was later officially renamed to Filipino.

Flash back, 20 years ago: My mother had enrolled me in a private school that strictly enforced English as a means of communication during, between and after classes, or when one was simply inside the school premises. English, being my first language gave me obviously no difficulty in following the rules, but come Filipino Classes, Pagbasa at Pagsulat sa Filipino, Balarila, and Panitikan, I barely understood what my teacher and my classmates were saying - I was at a total loss! My school was westernized and yet it carried Filipino classes as it was part of what the then-Department of Education, Culture and Sports (DECS) prescribed curriculum that was mandatory to all Philippine Schools. Simply put, I wasn’t picking up the language.

My father, who at the time, was taking Tagalog tutorial classes, was also having difficulty in picking up the language. He would often complain, he had no practice (Mom was teaching at the time, thus she was barely home) and his twice a week sessions were not sufficient enough to allow him to fully comprehend the language. Then I realized, I had an advantage: I had playmates and classmates who spoke, read and wrote the language fluently, it of course, being their first language.

It frustrated me at first that I could not play in the streets in our village, because, I could not understand what my playmates were saying. I watched in envy as I could hear all their happy screams and yells, while I had to wait for my sister to come from her full-day classes (I was on half day schedules at the time) just to have a playmate. Thankfully, the summer vacation came, and my cousins all who spoke fluent English (thanks to our strict aunts and uncles), came to my rescue and brought me to the streets to play.

I immediately fell in love with Patinetero. I also later learned other Pinoy games that we would play when we got sick of Patinetero, - tumbang-preso, agawan-base, taguan (the local counterpart of Hide and Seek), luksong-tinik, luksong-baka, touch the color, just to name a few. It took one summer for me to pick up the language (including a few foul words which drove my mother ballistic – but I swear I really didn’t know what they meant!) and at the same time, unknowingly, the culture of the Philippines. In short, one has to be fully immersed in learning to easily pick up a new language and culture.

Jumping back into the future, 20 years later, I now find myself, again, studying and learning a new language: Japanese or Nihongo. At the same rate, we are encouraged to learn more about the whole package of what Japan is, thus AVP’s and reading materials on the Land of the Rising Sun.

As a part of the class requirements for the trimester, we are tasked to write a reaction paper on the country whose language we are trying to learn. In this sense, if one has a clear grasp the country’s identity, then it would be a lot easier to study the language.

To begin with, I could actually say, that Japan is in a class of its own. It is a perfect blend of “East meets West” and yet it has managed to preserve its culture, its identity and its heritage while adapting to the information, technology and communication advancements that is seen through globalization.

After what little I have heard, read and learned, I now plan to visit Japan, hopefully, in the next five years. It has been added on to my list of countries that I would like to learn more about, which includes India, Africa and Greece.

Japan has managed to preserve it culture, its identity and its traditions in almost every single way, although like I had mentioned earlier, Japan has adapted to calls of globalization. They have allowed foreign nationals to embrace its culture and language through inter-cultural marriages, as seen in the audio video presentation (AVP). It embraces these nationals by allowing them not only to fall in love with their captivating Japanese women, but falling in love with what it truly Japanese – the whole make-up of its cultural identity.

Japan, for one, has managed to preserve it culture in its language and writing system, as seen in the Katakana and Hiragana characters. Kanji, which is derived as pictures, are also part of the language. Katakana and Hiragana, both have 46 characters, which stand for syllables, a bit different from English and Tagalog that I have become accustomed to. Amazingly, in order to fully preserve the culture and the language, Katakana, are used to write words introduced from other languages, names of foreign people and places, sounds and animal noises as explained in “Explore Japan.” Unlike the Philippines, which has now Filipinanized foreign words into the Filipino language, such as “teacher” which is now “titser” instead of “guro,” Japan has made foreign words into something that is uniquely their own and at the same time, retain the original Japanese words they have known for centuries.

Japan follows or observes some of the same annual calendar celebrations as the western world and as the Philippines does, which include New Year ’s Day, Mother’s and Father’s Days, Christmas and New Years Eve. However, they have other celebrations or calendar events, which are uniquely Japanese. Among them include: Setsubun or the Bean-throwing Ceremony which falls on either February 3 or 4, which is the day before the beginning of spring in the old Japanese calendar. People disperse roasted soy beans in order to drive away demons or bad luck.

About a month later, the Doll Festival or the Girls’ Festival, otherwise known as the Hinamatsuri, is a festival that is held to pray for the growth and happiness of girls. During this celebration, families with young girls, display dolls dressed in ancient costumes, together with peach blossoms and they offer food and rice crackers to the dolls.

In April, on the 29th, the Japanese then celebrate Greenery Day, whereas people are encouraged to enjoy and respect nature. According to “Explore Japan,” until 1988, this day was celebrated as the birthday of Emperor Showa who loved tree planting trees. And on the 5th of May, the Japanese commemorate Tango no Sekku (a seasonal festival) which is Children’s day. It is day that is set for wishing the growth of children, although families with boys carry out special rituals, displaying armor and warrior’s helmets and putting up carp streamers. These holidays and celebrations, just to name a few show how uniquely the Japanese value their own, family, people and nature alike. Through their celebrations, whereas they take the time and effort, help them in preserving their culture which has lasted throughout the years.

Although Japan is known to be a leader in the ICT fields, She has also absorbed many ideas from the other parts of the globe, such as technology and customs, and yet they have turned them into something that is remarkably their own.

The tea ceremony (sado or chado) lives on as apart of the everyday lives of the Japanese, which is a highly structured method of preparing green tea. The art of the tea ceremony is a reflective total art that requires an extensive range of knowledge and a fragile sensitivity. Like the calendar celebrations that value life, Sado also explores the purpose of life and encourages one to appreciate nature. It is in this sense, that in some ways, we Filipinos should be more like the Japanese, as they not only value family, but the value their environment as well. We perhaps have become too family and goal-oriented that is why it seems that we have forgotten the importance of nature, of our environment, its importance and the gifts it brings to us.

Another fascinating fraction the Japanese Culture and life is the ikebana or the Japanese art of flower arrangement which is purely for the decorative use of flowers done with tremendous care taken accordance to choosing every element of each work. It also includes what plant material and container is to be used, where they plants are to be placed and how they relate to each other and to where they are to be finally displayed. This does not only reflect the Japanese craftiness, but also their patience and exertion in creating something which is truly exquisite at the same time, giving respect to the gifts of Mother Nature.

Japan failed to conquer the world during World War II, however it is slowly conquering the contemporary world through its arts and culture. Aside from its Nobel Prize winners for Literature, Japan has invaded the world through it anime or animated cartoon shows which have been entertaining Japanese children for decades. Some of these earlier produced anime shows have already been distributed around the world. Examples of these shows which have been dubbed into English and in the Philippines in Filipino, are Astro Boy, the Sailor Moon series, Doreamon, Dragon Ball Z, Slamdunk and Ghost fighter. Some of these have become so popular here that they have been replayed several of times and are now on novelty and souvenir items.

Japan has also not only showed to us anime, but sports as well, which include the martial arts of judo, kendo, karate-do and aikido. Judo, which I learned from a friend, actually means “the gentle way” and is the martial art that deals with overcoming the opponent in taking advantage of their strength. Judo is now part of the Olympic Games since it was first included in 1964. A clearer understanding of Judo is that it has been accepted here at AMA Computer University (AMACU). There is already an existing Judo Club which is reaping numerous awards and is already marking its way in the Philippine Judo scene.

I also noticed that during the recent South East Asian Games (SEAG) where I was a volunteer, many were going go-go-gaga over Kendo, a sport which is slowly gaining popularity in the region, although Japan was not a competing country. Kendo competitors wear armor like protective gear and use bamboo swords to attack and to defend. In fact, a Japanese student who visited AMACU last trimester gave a demonstration at the University Gymnasium regarding the basics of Kendo. In the recent Olympic Games and World Cup, Japan has also shown that it can excel in western sports. Thus, this proves that Japan can easily adapt to call of modernization and globalization while still maintaining its heritage.

Economically, Japan is one of the world’s highly developed nations. Its Gross Domestic Product (GDP) is said to be the second highest. To prove this without leaving the Philippines, the streets on Manila are filled with Japanese automobiles, such as those made by Honda and Toyota. Both dominate the Philippine automobile market as seen in the latest polls. Other brands include Mitsubishi, Suzuki, Subaru, Isuzu and Nissan.

It thus leads my conclusion that Japan which was once unknown, who had become one of the most hated countries because of WW2, is now, has managed to change around this image as becoming one of the most progressive nations not only in Asia, but in the world.

Japan has set its mark in the world as being a progressive country constantly on rise towards further development in every field possible without losing her identity, her values, her culture, her heritage. Perhaps, this is why Jose Rizal was most touched when he had visited the Land of the Rising Sun during his travels and had almost considered of living in Japan permanently. It is perhaps from Japan that he had learned valuable lessons which had lead to what he famously said, “Ang hindi marunong lumingon sa pinangalingan, ay hindi makakarating sa paroroonan.”

In many ways, we should reflect on what Japan is teaching us and not only watching anime and driving around in our Civics or Fortuners. Japan has shown us that it is possible to prosper, to develop, to evolve, to advance forward and embrace the new millennium without having to shed our identity. We need not be embarrassed by makes us Filipino. Look at the Japanese! We need not to fully embrace the culture of the Western world in order cast out of our “Third World Status.” Having a sense of identity and holding on to that identity, with pride and dignity will lead us to where we ought to be. May we learn from the lessons of Japan? Value what we have and invest in it and maybe then, we can truly say that we are the pearl of the orient seas.

current mood: bouncy

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Monday, January 2nd, 2006
3:51 am - Postcards
I've been feeling a bit bad because I didn't have anything to give
to my staff come January. For one, I was broke. And moreover, I
didn't want to give meaningless gifts. Right after mass, I walked
into the Church store, looking of novenas to St. Catherine. I've had
this notion in my head for sometime now, that if I had St. Catherine
in my pocket, perhaps, I'd have more courage to face my remainding 2
math classes (for those who do not know this, I am a certified Math
nincompoop and it doesn't help that my ate and brother are math
wizards!!!).

Anyways... the store didn't have the novenas to Saint Catherine,
and I ended up browising around what else they had... then I came
across the postcards with the Good Sheperd and His Flock (picture of
the stained glass window of the Good Sheperd Church, in Fairview.

Sure, I may sound kuripot, giving my staff postcards for Christmas,
but hey, its the thought that counts naman, diba?! Though I still
feel kinda bad that after all they have done, the late nights, the
issues we have failed to publish due to lack of funds and so
forth... I gained strength and aimed to write from my heart... In
some ways, I am their "Sheperd" as I lead the group... but most of
the time, I do feel that it is the other way around...

Anyways (ulit) I'd like to share with you what I wrote. They each
got a list of ten items or reminders that, hopefully, would make
2006, well, different or more exciting, or whatever the case is...

As of writing... I still have to write about 6 more postcards, but
so far, here's what I wrote (in random):

(if by any chance, may mali akong sinabi, please do, inform me
agad... I'm handing them out pa naman on January 9, first day of
classes... thanks in advance! mwah!)

1. Life is a continuos cycle. Stress not on what it does not give
you, but on what it does. Be grateful for what you get, no matter
how small and insignificant it seems at the time.

2. You were given the gift of speech and communication. Use it
wisely.

3. Don't forget to feed your soul.

4. In everything you do, no matter how small, repeatedly pursue for
excellence. It is but fitting as you were created in the likeness of
God.

5. The wood never dictates to the carver.

6. It is not a crime to be wrong. But do know how and when to right
the wrong.

7. A wise man never calls himself wise because he knows he can
always be wiser.

8. Change is the only permanent thing in the world. Be not afraid to
adapt with it, live with it and be part of it.

9. No matter how hopeless the circumstances are, keep the faith.

10. Smiling and laughter always makes the burden lighter.

11. Seize the day with much gusto!

12.Listen to your heart. God speaks to it as much as he touches it.

13. Stop, look and listen.

14. Give respect and be respected.

15. If you want to be loved, be loveable!

16. Learn to admit when you are wrong.

17. Learn to forgive and forget.

18. Worry looks around, sorrow looks down, but faith looks up!

19. The impossible becomes possible, first by believing it is
possible.

20. Life becomes easier if dealth with kindness, generosity, truth,
decency and laughter.

21. Reality is what it is. Never say that you are going back to
reality, because you never left it in the first place.

22. When we ask and pray hard for something and we end up getting something else, something we don't really want, be grateful. Sometimes, what is given to us is far more valuable than what we asked. Accept it openheartedly and use it wisely.

23. Be proud of who you are.

24. I leader seldom lets his ward see him in pain, but he should know when to ask for help.

25. A broken heart heals, but you can never get rid of the scars. Allow the scars to be reminders. Let them help you in avoiding creating the same mistakes again.


Hehehehe... enough for now. Late na eh.

Gnyt!
Gems =)

PS... patawad sa errors... am sleepy na talaga.

current mood: contemplative

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Monday, September 5th, 2005
4:45 pm - Things I have learned at the end of the term (1; 05-06)
The things I have learned at the end of the term:

When my body complains, I should listen to it, especially since I have high tolerance for pain;

There is only so much I can do;

When in doubt, pray for enlightenment - it works.

The last thing I should do is complain. Walang magagawa ang pagrereklamo, kumilos muna;

I am not stupid, just slow sometimes;

I may be older than majority of my classmates, but it doesn't make me any smarter;

Some teachers really don't know what they are teaching - but whatever you do, don't point it out toi them -- gaganti lang sila sa pagbigay ng mababang grade!

Patience is a virtue, but know when to quit.. pag-umaabuso na sila.
Trying to teach someone manners who doesn't even know what "manners" is, is like trying to teach a bird to swim;

Never wear heels to school - sasakit lang ang paa mo sa kakaakyat baba sa mga buildings;

Never take basic writing and advance writing classes at the same time even if you have the same teacher - hindi siya maawa sa yo;

Self study is the way to go when the teacher doesn't attend classes;

Its alright to cheat kapag ginagago ka na. Wala kang mapapala sa mandaraya.

Ginagago ka na, magpapagago ka naman, eh di gaguhin mo na din!

Hindi kagun ka-galing sa accounting ang mga tao sa accounting office namin.

Prayers will get me somewhere, but actually working on making my prayers happen will get me somewhere faster...

Never ask the boyfriend to calculate when you will get your period. Its your period, he will be bound to screw it up. Hindi nga naman siya nireregla!

It is alright to ask someone for a favor, huwag ka lang maging abusada.

Charm will get things done faster.

If there is a project that I know I cannot finance, get a financer -- but be prepared to do all the work;

Never, never, never make a decision without going over it twice, thrice, or even four times. Stall if you must.

Use the Office PCs. Binabayaran ko naman ang PC na yun na hindi ko naman nagagamit.

If I can get a free ride, by all means, take it. At times, comfort is better than pride.

When being asked to eat, EAT! Libre yun, wag nang maghinarte.
Be as resourceful as possible.

It is possible to make a newspaper and a magazine using MS Word.

Even pro models screw up in amateur settings... Its just a matter of how you rise from the fall.

The boyfriend does not have the solutions to all your problems. Teehee..

The boyfriend is NOT always right. Just let him think he is at times. Hehehehe...

There is always a way to beat the system.

I can outsmart, outwit and outlast my parents.

Kung gusto, may paraan!!!!

This is my life -- I choose to live it the way I want to, and I shouldn't give a shit what other people say.

I really WAS born into the wrong family.

Math will never be my best subject no matter how hard I try. Hindi kahihiyaan na bobita ako sa matematika.

Sometimes, "Friendster" does have the solutions to my problems -- use my connections well.

Ang maganda, kahit umiyak sa go-see, maganda pa rin.

Never drink draft on an empty stomach and don't pop an advil muna.

Your friends aren't always right... and even if they ALL tell you that you are wrong, kung naniniwala kang tama ka, tama ka at sila ang mali!

Chocolate is still the best pulutan!

Its better to sleep over than to stay out late.

I can outsmart my sister -- even if she has a high IQ

It is a blessing to be wise than to be intelligent.

Iiyak mo na lahat ng puwede mong iiyak - then get over it.

Stop. Look and listen. - Three basic things that will save my life.

Hehehehehe.. kinakagat na ko ng mga lamok dito sa OSA (Office of Student Affairs)...

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Sunday, April 17th, 2005
11:46 pm - On being Optimistic and Of Incompetence...
I recently lost my temper - yes, I ran out of patience!
I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I've always been the person who as much as possible, tries to remain call and collected during crunch time.

But seriously, at the so-called university I am attending right now, my patience had been put to the test. I'm no saint, and I know I'll never be a saint (hehehehe...) but, here, sheesh... it's unbelievable!!!

I've always been optimistic and I've always looked at the brighter side of life, no matter how horrible things may be... but this place... sheeeshh... it's incredible!

I've meet a few individuals who have proven the wrong the "bad" image this place has. They are what I would call the saving grace of this institution.
Some just had to move here because they had no choice, other their parents didn't give them another choice. Some, just like me, are just after that darn piece of paper so we can move on with life.

If time wasn't against me, I'd be long gone silver. I wouldn't stay here a minute more. I'd leave this #@%$&* forasken place!

There are the good, the bad and the ugly teachers. Whom I dare not name, least I get into trouble. An then there's the library and the unbelievable accounting and records systems. If you'd visit our so -called registrar's office, be sure not to throw in a lighted cigarette butt, the place would be up in flames in no time.

And why would I dare say that the place is incompetent?
Except for those student I have come to known whom I can put a decent conversation with and not get "duh-look" written all over their faces, the students here should comew with instructional manuals. Believe me, sometimes, you wouldn't know what they are talking about (let me make this clear: their computer skills are excellent, but everything else... never m,ind, hence the instruction manuals). i recently asked a classmate to print pout stuff, to be on the sure side, I gave a print out copy of what it should look like, and how it should appear... guess what, she couldn't even do it right. The night before a major production (I'm a communication student), one tells me, she wasn't able to book the lights. So, there i was, at 8 in the evning, combing through the streets of Quiapo, searching for lights with a girl I think could have swallowed a watermelon.

The policy here is, art least three days before you want to use something, you have to have it put on reserve. lo and behold, come production day, the guy didn't book the projector.

You'd think being world class, their English would be great. Errr... don't count on it.
Some of the booboos:

1. the do not know what cautious means. One thought it means: plural for cactus.
2. Illustrate -"To clarify, as by use of examples or comparisons: The editor illustrated the definition with an example sentence.
To clarify by serving as an example or comparison: The example sentence illustrated the meaning of the word. " When a teacher asked his class to illustrate 5 terms on one half crosswise/ yellow pad, many started scratching their head. Hindi raw kasya na i drawing yung limang ipinapagawa nung teacher.
3. The editor in chief of the official student publication wrote: "At two pm in the afternoon."
4. To them a research paper and a term paper are two different things.

... i gotsa run to take an exam na...
...to be continued ulit...

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Saturday, February 26th, 2005
3:47 pm - Buhay estudyante, muli
Buhay estudyante muli...
'yan ang drama ko sa sa buhay ko ngayon.
Hindi na puwedeng madalas nagpapacute, rumarampa at umaarangkada sa kita.
Mahirap ang muling maging isang full time na estudyante.
Kaliwa't kanan ang gastos.
Pa-"zerox dito, pa-xerox" doon.
Ubos ang baon, butas ang bulas, kumakalampag ang sikmura.

Sa totoo lang, isang taon na ko halos nag-aaral muli.
Sa tanda kong ito, mahiya naman ako kung hindi ako magseryoso!
Sabi nga nila, ang nakakatanda ang dapat maging halimbawa sa mga bata...
Ay sus! Di na uso yun! ...pero, mahiya pa rin ako ano!

Nung una, akala ng mga kaibigan ko, mahihiya ako. Tanda ko na raw, mag-aaral pa muli. Sabi ko sa kanila, nung nasa USTe pa 'ko, may kaeskuwela akong lola, nag-uniporme pa, hindi na hiya! At ako, na wala pang trenta, mahihiya???!! Eh yun halos uugod-ugod na, sige pa rin si lola!

Ayun, kaya sabi ko nun, pag-ako natigil, babalik at balik din ako, pero di ako aabot sa edad ni lola.

Kaya eto, bago umabot ng trenta, balik eskuwela na ang drama.
Nagbabaon pa si gaga!
Eh ba't ako mahihiya? Deans lister pa ata ang loka-loka...

teka, isinasara na ang library naming walang kuwenta...
kailangan ko na itong isara...sa ating muling pagkikita.

current mood: hungry

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Friday, September 10th, 2004
12:28 pm - ...on loving...
I am no one special, this I am positive of.
I am who I am.
I am what I am.
I am a common lady, with common thoughts who has led a not so common life, and yet when if I disappear I know I will easily be forgotten and replaced.
However, if there is something not so common about me, is how I love.
I love in a way, only I would understand.
I love with my heart and with my soul.
Though I see both good and evil, I continue loving.
I wish not to be anyone special or any one famous...
I have had the chance so many times, but I never seized the moment.

“For love is like a tree; it grows of itself; it sends its roots deep into our being,
and often continues to grow green over a heart in ruins.”
THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE-DAME, Victor Hugo

Is love truly the langugage of the world?
If so, why can I not understant you?
Is it perphaps, I am not loving you enough?

A broken heart may heal, but the scars can never be erased.
I continue, despite my heart being contantly broken.
Old wounds that haven't completely healed are often re-opened.
Despite, despite, I continue on loving...

But then again....
"....You can't make omelets without breaking the eggs"
(AYN RAND, THE FOUNTAINHEAD)

To end:
"Have you ever been in love?
Horrible isn't it?
It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...
You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.
Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" or "how perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.
It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.
Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love.
I hate love.
- THE SANDMAN (neil gaiman)

....and yet I continue loving.
Loving is my curse a burden I carry, I burden only I can understand, one can try...but one wouldnever fully understand.

current mood: angry

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Tuesday, August 17th, 2004
2:55 pm - Biyaheng Dos
Alas sais ng umaga.
Nagmamadali na ang mga estudyanteng pumasok sa eskuwela.
Isa ka rin tulad nila. Araw-araw na pahirap, makamtan lang ang minimithing kaporasong papel na nagsasaad na ika'y isang "college graduate.'

Araw-araw kang pahirapang tumawid sa "9-lane" na kalye hindi pa kinikilalang "high-way". Malapad pa nga ata ito sa EDSA.

Pagtawid mo'y, makikipag-agawan ka pa ng jeep o FX. Pupuwede ka ring mga bus, kaso nga lang, sa dinami-dami na pinipilit ipag-kasya sa mga pinaglumaang pampublikong tranportasyon ng Japan, eh halos hindi ito makausad sa bigat. "Forty-eight light years" pa, bago ka makababa. Gayan ng napanood mo nuon sa "The Probe Team", hindi mo naman masisi ang tsuper at ang kundoktor dahil may hinahabol lang silang "quota."

Panandaliang "goal" mo ay makasakay sa harap na "section" ng FX. Hindi ka lang nakikipag-unahan sa mga sa pumapasok sa eskuwela, kungdi, pati na rin sa mga mangagagawa na papasok sa opisina o kung saan mang lupalop ng Maynila nagtratrabaho. Panalo kung makasakay ka sa harap. Aba, dun ata pinakamalamig at pinaka-maluwag. Pupuwede ka rin sa gitna, yun bang "3-seater' na pilit iginawang "4-seater". Malas ka lang kung makasakay ka ng dalawang "human" siopao, at kalahati lang ng puwet mo ang makakaupo.

Magbabayad ka ng sapat.
Samantalang, kung minsan, hindi ka pa susuklian ng "driver" ng tama. Tanong mo sa sarili mo: Kailan pa ba nagtaas ng pasahe ang mga FX? Makikipag-away ka ba para lamang sa limang piso.

Limang piso.
Limang tig-pipiso.
Dalawangpung tig-bebente singko.
Makikipag-away ka ba para sa limang piso?
Limang Piso.
Pamasahe rin yun sa tricycle sa Road 20.
Isang blue book din yun sa Jincos at saka 3-for-2 pesos na stork na Starr na daw siya ngayon, iniba lang ang packaging.
Pupuwede ring limang pa-photocopy o xerox kung sa labas ka magpapaxerox. Kung sa loob, 4 na pa-photocopy at tatlong pirasong yellow pad paper.
Naisip mo, liamng piso rin yun.
Sayang din nga naman...

Kuna't noong isasauli sa iyo ng "driver" ang sukli mo. Halatang halatang nanghihiniyang siya sa limang piso.
Kitang-kita mo, pa "tsk-tsk" pa siya.

**********TO BE CONTINUED MAY MEETING PA KO....****************

current mood: sasabog na bulkan

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Monday, July 26th, 2004
11:43 am - Maalala Mo Kaya
I received this via Email.
This Is NOT originally mine.
To the original author, my congratulations for a wonderful piece!
- Gemma Heaton

MAALAALA MO KAYA....

Heto ang SAYA at KAPAYAPAAN na alam natin, noong wala pang

KAUNLARAN...

Si Nanay ay nasa bahay pag-uwi namin galing sa paaralan;

Walang mga bakod at gate ang magkakapit-bahay, kung meron, gumamela lang;

10 sentimos o diyes lang ang baon: singko sa umaga, singko sa hapon;

nilalakad mo lang mag-isa ang paaralan nung nasa kinder at elementarya ka, kahit na malayo sa bahay nyo

Merong free ang mga patpat ng ice drop: buko man o munggo.

Mataas ang paggalang sa mga guro at ang tawag sa kanila ay Maestro/a:

Di binibili ang tubig, pwedeng maki-inom sa di mo kakilala.

Malaking bagay na ang pumunta sa ilog para mag-picnic,o kaya sa tumana;

Grabe na ang kaso pag napatawag ka sa principal's office o kaya malaking kahihiyan kapag bagsak ka sa exams;

Simple lang ang pangarap: makatapos, makapag-asawa, mapagtapos ang mga anak...

Pwedeng iwan ang sasakyan at ibilin sa hindi mo kakilala; wala namang lock ang mga jeep na Willy's noon.

Mayroon kaming mga laruan na gawa namin at hindi binili: trak-trakan (gawa sa rosebowl ang katawan at darigold na maliit ang mga gulong, "sketeng" (scooter) na bearing na maingay ang mga gulong at de-sinkong pako para sa preno;

patining na pinitpit na tansan lang na may 2 butas sa gitna para suotan ng sinulid (pwede pang makipag-lagutan); sumpak, pilatok, boca-boca, borador, atbp.

Di nakikialam ang mga matanda sa mga laro ng mga bata: kasi laro nga iyon.

Maraming usong laro at maraming kasali: lastek, gagamba, turumpo, tatsing ng lata, pera namin ay kaha ng Philip Morris, Malboro, Champion (kahon-kahon yon!)

May dagta ang dulo ng tinting na hawak mo para makahuli tutubi, nandadakma ka ng palakang tetot, pero ingat ka sa palakang saging dahil sa kulugo;

Butas na ang sakong ng Spartan mong tsinelas - suot mo pa rin;

Namumugalgal ang pundiya ng kansolsilyo mo kasi nakasalampak ka sa lupa.

Sa modernong buhay at sa lahat ng kasaganaan sa high technology... di ba minsan naisip mo na rin... mas masaya noong araw!

Sana pwedeng maibalik...
Takot tayo ngayon sa buhay. Kasi maraming napapatay, nakikidnap, maraming addict at masasamang loob...

Noon takot lang tayo sa ating mga magulang at mga lolo at lola.

Pero ngayon, alam na natin na mahal pala nila tayo kayat ayaw tayong
mapahamak o > > mapariwara... Na una silang nasasaktan pag pinapalo nila tayo...

Balik tayo sa nakaraan kahit saglit...

Bago magkaroon ng internet, computer, at cellphone. Noong wala pang mga drugs at malls. Bago pa nauso ang counter strike at mga game boys.

Tayo noon... Doon...

Tinutukoy ko ang harang taga o tumbang preso kapag maliwanag ang buwan- nakapaglaro ka ba nun?

kalaro mo lahat ang bata sa lugar ninyo...

Ang pagtatakip mo ng mata pero nakasilip sa pagitan ng mga daliri pag nanonood ka
ng nakakatakot sa "Mga Aninong Gumagalaw"

Unahan tayong sumagot sa Multiplication Table na kabisado natin, kasi wala namang calculator.
Abacus lang ang meron tayo...

Pag-akyat natin sa mga puno; pagkakabit ng kulambo; lundagan sa kama; Pagtikwas o pagtitimba sa poso; pingga ang pang-igib ng lalake at may dikin naman
ang ulo ng babae;

Inaasbaran ng mga suberbiyo ang usansiya; Nginig na tayo pag lumabas na ang yantok-mindoro o buntot-page.

Nai-sako ka rin ba? O kaya naglagay ka ba ng karton sa pwet para hindi masakit ang tsinelas o sinturon? O nagkunwari kang umiiyak kahit di naman tutoong nasaktan sa mga palo ni tatay?

Pamimili ng bato sa bigas; tinda-tindahan na puro dahon naman, bahay-bahayan na puro kahon; at lutu-lutuan ng mga maliliit na isdang galing sa malinis na kanal

naglako ka ba ng ice-candy o pandesal noong araw?

Karera sa takbuhan hanggang maubos ang hininga; pagtawa hanggang sumakit ang tiyan;

Meron pa bang himbabao, kulitis at pongapong? O kaya ng lukaok, susuwi at espada?

Susmaryosep ang nadidinig mo pag nagpapaligo ng bata...

Espirito santo kapag nagmamano.

Mapagod sa kakalaro, minsan mapalo; matakot sa "berdugo" at sa "kapre";

Tuwang-tuwa kami pag tinalo ang tinale ni itay kasi may tinola!

Yung crush mo?

Pag recess: mamimili ka sa garapon ng tinapay - alembong, taeng-kabayo o biscocho?

Pwede ring ang sukli ay kending Vicks (meron pang libreng singsing) o kaya nougat o karamel;

Kung gusto mo naman - pakumbo o kaya kariba, mas masaya kung inuyat;

Puriko ang mantika, at mauling na ang mukha at ubos na ang hininga mo sa ihip kasi mahirap magpa-rikit ng apoy.

Madami pa...

Masarap ang kamatis na piniga sa kamay at lumabas sa pagitan ng daliri para sa sawsawan, ang palutong pag isawsaw sa sukang may siling labuyo,
ang duhat kapag inalog sa asin, ang isa-sang isubo ang daliri kasi puno na ng kanin...

Halo-halo: yelo, asukal at gatas lang ang sahog;

Sakang ang lakad mo at nakasaya ka kasi bagong tuli ka; o naghahanap ka ng chalk kasi tinagusan ang palda mo sa eskwelahan.

Lipstick mo ay papel de hapon; Labaha ang gamit para sa white-side-wall na gupit;

Naglululon ka ng banig pagkagising; matigas na amirol ang mga punda at kumot; madumi ang manggas ng damit mo kasi doon ka nagpapahid ng sipon, di ba?

Pwede rin sa laylayan...

May mga program kapag Lunes sa paaralan;

May pakiling kang dala kung Biyernes kasi magi-isis ka ng desk.

Di ba masaya? Naalala mo pa ba?

Wala nag sasaya at gaganda pa sa panahon na yon...

Masaya noon at masaya pa rin tayo ngayon habang ina-alaala iyon...

Di ba noon...

Ang mga desisyon ay ginagawa sa awit na "sino ba sa dalawang ito? Ito ba o ito?" Pag ayaw ang resulta di ulitin: "sino ba sa dalawang ito? Ito ba o ito?"...

Awit muna: Penpen de Serapen, de kutsilyo, de almasen. How how the carabao batuten...

Presidente ng klase ay ang pinakamagaling, hindi ang pinaka-mayaman;

Masaya na tayo basta sama-sama kahit hati-hati sa kokonti;

Nauubos ang oras natin sa pagku-kwentuhan, may oras tayo sa isat-isa;

Naaasar ka kapag marami kang sunog sa sungka; kapag buro ka sa pitik-bulag o matagal ka ng taya sa holen.

Yung matatandang kapatid ang pinaka-ayaw natin pero sila ang tinatawag natin pag napapa-trouble tayo.

Di natutulog si Inay, nagbabantay pag may trangkaso tayo; meron tayong skyflakes at Royal sa tabi.

Kung naaalaala mo ito... masasabi mo sigurong mas masaya ang kabataan mo kumpara sa ngayon!

Pustahan tayo nakangiti ka pa rin!

Isa pang importanteng bagay...pag naaalala mo lahat yan.....ibig sabihin ba nun ---tumatanda ka na?

current mood: someone shoot me!

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